When you are feeling overloaded or stressed, a time-tested technique is to have a thought to retreat into that will revive your good feeling vibe, your sense of well-being, all of which increase your immediate perception of self-worth.
At this point in the game, you know that no one else can return your self value to you - except you. Each one of us is our own cheerleader. Look around your life. People who wait for other people to give them self-worth are also referred to as "people pleasers." We have all been there, but as your experience evolves, with hindsight, being a people pleaser is a shallow place live.
The three tips I have been using for years are remember, refresh, and reframe. I use these when I am feeling separated from my sense of self-worth.
The first two steps are fairly simple to anyone; the third step is geared toward advanced students.
Create a memory that you can go to when you feel a wave of self-despair or feel disconnected. This memory is of an event or a series of events where you achieved or succeeded.
The memory is not about climbing Mt. Everest (unless you did that one), but more along the lines of living from day-to-day where you accomplished events, relationships, or self objectives that bring you feelings of satisfaction and enjoyment when you recall them. Maybe the first time you set a significant personal goal and then achieved it.
There are so many good times in your life looking back; pick a few of those events or relationships and rekindle your inner satisfaction.
When you accomplish this step you have directed your thinking processes to bring satisfaction into your own life experience.
Take some time to sit back and focus on your breathing. This is an ancient method of settling yourself into a natural rhythm that induces being in touch with your core being—your heart, your soul.
Continue this segment until you are feeling whole, stabilized, and refreshed.
This is an advanced step since it requires you to alter your thinking patterns and perceptions.
Life is what you make it. That is difficult to wrap your mind around, especially since our culture, at this point, is the exact opposite.
However, when you arrive at recognizing the Law of Cause and Effect, which dictates everything in our lives, then you have become an advanced student in this adventure called life.
In this last segment of the exercise, after completing the first two steps, look at the future and plan how you want it to be. That means the immediate future and moving forward.
OPTIONAL: You may want to review the events that got you to this need for reconnection and alter your ideas about them to accept them at face value, but that is not necessary, especially if doing that will bring you back to despair or pity.
A significant understanding to hold on to is that life is always in the now. So what already happened is less important than what is NOW happening, which in turn creates your future.
I leave you with this thought which I first heard from my meditation teacher, “Where are you going?”